Time outs, and how to use them.

Sure, everyone's heard of time out... but how does it work?

Time out is not a punishment, but a consequence.  What's the difference you ask? 
A punishment is something negative or unpleasant when the one being punished does something wrong.
A consequence is the result of a previous action, not bad or good.

Time out is not intended to be something negative or unpleasant (though I'm not saying kids love it) but more a time to sit and think, be told what they did and why it was wrong, and to show them what to do next time.  Children are not bad, they are learning what is acceptable and non-acceptable behavior.

How to carry out a successful time-out:
(have an area for your child to sit where they will not be easily distracted.  Have something specific for them to sit on, such as a stool, chair, step, carpet square, etc.)

When the child disobey's...
1) Get down on their level and tell them in a stern voice a short expectation, such as "no hitting, or time out"
2) If the child stops the behavior, Great! If they repeat the behavior, again in a firm voice say "No hitting, time out"
3) Place the child in time out and tell them "you need to sit in time out for hitting"
4) The child sits one minute per year of age, for example a 3yr old will sit in time out for 3 minutes.
5) If the child get's off of the time-out spot, do not say a word to them, just sit them back down and restart the timer.  This may go on for a long time, but do not give up.  If you stick with it, it will get easier each time.  If you give up now, you are teaching the child that if they fight you long enough you will give in.
6) When the child time is up, have them stand and look at you and again explain to them what they did. "you went to time out for hitting, that's not nice it hurts (mommy, your friends, etc)" 
7) Have the child appologize to you (and if another person was hurt, to them too)
8) GIVE HUGS!!  This is very important to make sure the child knows that you still love them. 

If the child threw something, have them pick it up.  If the child made a mess, have them clean it up.  If the child was not doing something you told them to do, tell them to again.  (If they do not listen again, follow the steps from #1)  In short, show them what the correct behavior is and have them follow through.